Hey Brittany, I don't know if your sleep right now but I just wanted to remind you or let you know that your friendship really means a whole lot to me and a whole lot more then my actions tell. Also that though things seem like they may have changed from awhile back in some ways. I'm still here and not much as changed or well they have changed but for the better and the only change Ive made is what you see on the surface for the better... I still love you. You still mean a lot to me. I'm sorry if you want me to be more open with you, or "the way things used to be" I just can't because... Well it's a thing with me. It wouldn't be right for me to ask change of you therefore I change myself to adjust with you with I want to be a part of your life. I feel like I already know the way things will be with you and that's what bothers me. I can't or I shouldn't live in the romantic world of me and you in my head. I need to be in reality and I'm learning to see it more clearly...slowly. For the better. I act like a child, and basically when the times comes that you really are frustrated or mad at me I notice its what you call me. It's what your describing with your words and its what I realized a time ago. So I'll change for you. Don't take me wrong for saying this I'm just keeping it real. I need to grow up right? I'm not making this about me and if I am it's because I want to be better for you. So don't rant to me about it. I'm not blaming you for anything either I'm making the situation into what it is. The reality of it is that I feel a certain way and I've felt a certain way and that's the big issue. So I keep that to myself though it tares me apart everyday because I do. Yet when I don't keep it to myself it seems to be worse for my emotions. But whatever!!!! Lol anyway ..I don't like the way things are between me and you lately and it needs to change for the new year... P.S. I love you so much and I really need you in my life... Happy Birthday :)
********btw you can tell by how I started this, that I've been thinking about it for a couple weeks or well actually a month and 2 days to be exact...**** 
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