You had somebody to lean on and alot more. you had it alll... you
You need to get it, I've been here for 3-4 years and I say that's grand For hope and faith in things. Your thoughts are unaware of me in a lot of ways... You had someone not out there (this vast universe) but right in front of you. For a long time. It's not like you woke up one morning and that somebody was disappearing and coming back or that person put you through a bunch of shit and says they hate you, then comes back later after they get bored of they're own games and tells you they are sorry... The person stayed with you, all that time.... Through all the drama you dealt with, all the games you played with everybody else, the arguments you had with him, and did he leave? Did he treat you like shit then say he's sorry for all that and expect for you to forgive him and threaten to kill himself? No he didn't... Why didn't he? Hmm.... What's love to you? Somebody sticking by your side through anything? Hmm... I think he got that. Somebody who cares about you and can show it? Hmm.... He got that... Somebody that believes in you and doesn't talk down on you?... Oh wait this guy got that too....
Maybe the person was afraid of things and how the out o would show. Maybe that person stuck around with the people who wanted to kill themselves because she didnt want to feel the guilt of thinking he might actually kill himself. What if that person has been through hell and I just watched him go through it. But that's beside the fact. I guess I really don't understand the concept of loving someone. I tried that once and was hurt. & this guy who's been my bestfriend and my brother for awhile now and I feel like I lost him these last 2 years. I feel like I lost connections with him & it's really upsetting, that guy means the world to me and I don't think hell ever understand.
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