I wont give up on you Bee

Watch this video and listen to the song, I feel it speaks something like my heart does... "I won't give up on you" Then again it's like I never do because of the fact that when we're growing further apart I still think about you. I just don't make as big a deal about it, and make myself think I don't do it that much when the fact is your on my mind at least 22 hours a day. The only thing is I don't think I know you that well, because I feel like I just love everything about you. Like your just this human being that's amazing flaws and all. Like your perfect for me... But how is that possible? Nobody else has been, nobody else makes me feel like that? Why do you make me feel like that? The arguments don't effect me really... I only get mad at the idea of you with someone else ... Like I can see us together and happy and I think I can make you happy. But do you think I can? Can I? Theres some doubts in my mind that didn't use to be. More of 8th grade us? Idk because it's like I dont want more of the past with the way I've felt about certain things and you, then only to go through everything over again. What does 8th grade us mean? What is 8th grade "us"? What kinda future do we hold? That's what I want to know, I know it really can't be answered but it's like your the only person I know that I don't know where we're going really or what's next... it's like I don't want to waste my time doing certain things. But your not a waste of my time, so please dont take it that way your one of the best ways I could think of spending my time ..well with you...?it's just what I want to know is pursuing a relationship with you to see where it takes us a waste of my time or is expressing my love for you a waste of time? Because if friends is what were going to be I want to plan accordingly.. (not to be an asshole if that makes me one or seem like one). I don't want to be some guy that it's nice to know is out there or a friend that "must hold his peace"....(for better words) I'm not worried about "how it ends up" because if I care about you and you care about me then that's not a worry. I'm not going to hurt you... It's not something I'll do. I couldn't forgive myself for it after years of wanting something so bad just to fuck up like that. I'm not begging for a chance or any crap like that, I'm done with that. That's not me, and i don't know how I went there before.. That's demeaning to myself.

All this stuff is what my frustration has been with you. What do you want "us" to be? I can't do anything unless I know. I know what I want...do you? When I asked you this before you told me you don't know.... Please tell me you know now, so I can understand. So that I don't feel like a "blind mice" with you. If a friend is what you want that's what I'll give you I just need to know? It's like sometimes you seem like you care more then a friend should but you don't want to admit it or something. I notice it, but when I ask you why your again with a "I don't know".... Just Give me understanding of what you want. I'm not going to be hurt either way I need to.. know...